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Pushed to his limits, Averhart broke down one night in a counselor’s cabin. I didn't know how much longer I could hang on." … I was nearing the end of my rope and it petrified me. "The thought of death sounded peaceful and quiet, things I desperately longed for. Sometimes while being choked in my cot, I would only be partially unconscious and other times completely …. In order to keep me quiet, or perhaps because he got a thrill from controlling people, he began to shove my face in the pillow. "If it was late at night or early in the morning, he would not hesitate to rape me. Over time, Sheehan changed, becoming more violent, he writes. I was frightened that no one would believe me if I came forward and that was a chance I was unwilling to take,” he writes. “I was still too scared and ashamed to tell them the truth. “… That my shameful secrets should remain undiscovered from my friends and classmates was my greatest preoccupation.”Īs for telling his parents, who knew he was hurting but not why: “ … I felt as if my shame and guilt were plain for all to see. Was I gay? I was confused about everything. Men typically wait 20 years or more before disclosing they were sexually abused, according to social science research, and boys are less likely than girls to discuss their experiences.
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I took what he told me to heart, vowing inside to keep it closely guarded." “If I exposed him, everyone would discover what happened, that I had caused it and that I enjoyed it.
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“I endured these things in silence, knowing they were wrong, but not knowing what to do,” Averhart writes. The delayed revelations of thousands of former Boy Scouts across the country suggest his silence is not unique. Many people have asked Averhart why he returned to Camp Miles after that first summer, he says, and why he told no one. Lowery tenderly reconstructs the tedious planning, overwhelming sadness and occasional joys of the era to create an accessible history of the AIDS crisis and the activists who fought to make a difference.And: Who was William Sheehan? Teacher, Boy Scout leader, alleged predator The collective is responsible for some of the most powerful protest art in modern history, including the now-iconic "Silence = Death" tagline that appeared on posters and shirts around New York City. With a mixture of interviews, archival footage and historical records, It Was Vulgar & It Was Beautiful weaves together an unsparing account of the tireless efforts of activists during the height of the AIDS crisis, with a focus on the Gran Fury art collective, an offshoot of the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power, or ACT UP.įaced with willful government inaction and wide public disinformation, the group approached their activism as an advertising project - looking for material that would catch the public's eye and draw their attention to the pandemic ravaging the country.Īnd to their credit, they succeeded. It Was Vulgar & It Was Beautiful: How AIDS Activists Used Art to Fight a Pandemic by Jack Lowery The result is a poignant reflection on a decades-long career as a playwright and actor that will make you laugh and cry in turn.Īnd if Fierstein had just written I Was Better Last Night, it would have been enough, but we're happy to say he narrates the audiobook, too.
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He's blunt about his struggle with addiction, the feeling of abandonment he felt through the AIDS crisis, and the fear that characterized how many people in the entertainment business treated him even as he won award after award for his work - much of which focused on the lives of gay men. But the memoir goes well beyond the (often well-deserved) cattiness that punctuates Fierstein's writing. I Was Better Last Night offers stories on everything from Harvey Fierstein's high school's smoking terrace to his early days as a supporting actor in Andy Warhol's Pork and all the backstage gossip of La Cage Aux Folles.